Post by founder on Jun 1, 2007 22:08:15 GMT -5
There were three men who died and before God would let them into heaven, God gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.
The first guy said, "I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter."
So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said, "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter."
So God made him 1000 times smarter.
The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said, "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter."
So God made him a woman.
Death Facts!
1 - More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
2 - More people are killed each year by coconuts than sharks. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.
3 - You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
4 - Fleas have the distinction of killing more people than all the wars man has ever fought. The "Black Death" plague killed 1/4 of Europe's population in the 14th century, caused by germs transmitted from rodents to humans by fleas.
5 - The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.
6 - The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
7 - A hundred years ago, the average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.
8 - Today, only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.
9 - Your statistical chance of being murdered is 1 in 20,000.
10 - There are 5 times as many deaths due to the negligence of doctors as there are deaths due to firearms.
11 - On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
12 - Robert Hershey, of Hershey Chocolate fame, died when he fell into a vat of chocolate and drowned.
13 - Dr. Alice Chase, who wrote "Nutrition for Health" and numerous books on the science of proper eating, died of malnutrition.
14 - Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
15 - When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed that his small intestine contained five gold Krugerrands.
16 - When Thomas Edison died in 1941; Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle.
17 - In 1845, President Andrew Jackson's pet parrot was removed from his funeral for swearing.
18 - Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his father's, President Garfield's, and President McKinley's. After the last shooting, he refused ever to attend a state affair again.
19 - When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30, 1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.
The first guy said, "I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter."
So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said, "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter."
So God made him 1000 times smarter.
The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said, "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter."
So God made him a woman.
Death Facts!
1 - More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
2 - More people are killed each year by coconuts than sharks. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.
3 - You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
4 - Fleas have the distinction of killing more people than all the wars man has ever fought. The "Black Death" plague killed 1/4 of Europe's population in the 14th century, caused by germs transmitted from rodents to humans by fleas.
5 - The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.
6 - The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
7 - A hundred years ago, the average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven.
8 - Today, only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.
9 - Your statistical chance of being murdered is 1 in 20,000.
10 - There are 5 times as many deaths due to the negligence of doctors as there are deaths due to firearms.
11 - On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
12 - Robert Hershey, of Hershey Chocolate fame, died when he fell into a vat of chocolate and drowned.
13 - Dr. Alice Chase, who wrote "Nutrition for Health" and numerous books on the science of proper eating, died of malnutrition.
14 - Adolph Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
15 - When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed that his small intestine contained five gold Krugerrands.
16 - When Thomas Edison died in 1941; Henry Ford captured his last dying breath in a bottle.
17 - In 1845, President Andrew Jackson's pet parrot was removed from his funeral for swearing.
18 - Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his father's, President Garfield's, and President McKinley's. After the last shooting, he refused ever to attend a state affair again.
19 - When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30, 1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.